For years I have worked with therapists, healers, and coaches, to release trauma from the past and my "victim" role and now a wise friend told me how to get more into depth and start taking full responsibility for my feelings, thoughts, behaviors, actions, as well as my choices who I let into my inner space. I am excited to be able to finally meet my real, Authentic Self that is based on pure love, compassion, joy, and peace, as opposed to relying on projections and roles from my Conditioned Self (as described by my mentor Shelley Riutta) that is based on guilt, anger, fear and other negative emotions and expectations and dependence on other people .
That in combination with the Course in Miracles and my spiritual family founded by Liz Newman LAc will help me get there, doing my baby steps and catching myself as often as I can when I am in my Conditioned Self. I am already a gifted healer and holistic psychotherapist and I believe strongly that especially for people in healing and medical field is so important to continue healing ourselves and in this way I will be able to help my clients in even more profound and more AUTHENTIC way. There is no shame, we are all dealing with universal human needs and barriers on our way to getting to know our real Authentic Selves.
Now you might say, this is all good and all, but these things actually happened. The thing is that we see everything based on our past experiences with other people, events and circumstances. If we didn't have an emotional attachment to a person or event that happened in our past, we wouldn't have such a strong emotional reaction that acts as a "trigger" to a current situation. This means that we have not fully healed the situation and our emotional response to it. This is the basis of my work whether I work with couples or individuals. One of my Imago mentors (to read about Imago check my website under the tab "Holistic Psychotherapy). If we didn't have attachment to the past we would not feel pain, anger, rejection or whatever we are feeling.
For an example, if a woman was abused in her childhood or past romantic relationships, and if she hasn't healed the past event and emotional attachment to it, she will unconsciously repeat the same scenario in not just intimate relationships but also platonic relationships whether business or personal and more importantly, continue carrying this pattern onto her children or any future relationships.
If she is in a relationship with a man, who had similar patterns of being a "victim" of the situation, they will keep "triggering" each other's wounds until they both take full responsibility for their thoughts, beliefs, actions, and choices. Remember, no matter what, you always have a choice. Even women or men that are abused in a relationships still have a choice which is not easy, but they CAN leave the relationship and many times a professional is needed to help them build back their self-esteem and self-love to be able to make that step. Finances might get in the way, and most people prefer to remain in the comfort zone instead of being vulnerable and looking deeply into themselves.
One of my favorite teachers, Marianne Williamson says it well:
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