Unfortunately in my professional practice many clients had dysfunctional relationships as children and as a result, most of them shut down and forgot their dreams in order to get decent jobs. Yet, the unfulfilled dreams don't just go away. As Steven Covey says, what would you regret if you saw yourself at the funeral? As adults, we can change our beliefs and we can chose a different life. We are the creators of our lives.
When I work with clients re-discovering themselves I like to go back in childhood. We all had times when we were living life in the moment, in the flow. We were not worried about future or had regrets about our past. Think about it this way: What did I enjoy as a child? What activities occupied me so much that I lost a track of time? Sometimes actvity might not be exactly the same. For example, I used to love drawing, and yet I did not become a painter. I always had a love for books and writing so when I am not seeing my clients I am doing more creative things, such a writing. My book was published last year. Maybe you too can think of an activity or hobby that brought you joy.
After identifying your dream, passion, or calling, however you want to name it, think about what is holding you back. Most of the time it is the fear that is holding us back. Most people don't like change and prefer to stay in a miserable job or unfullfiling marriage because it seems easier to deal with what you know. However, what ends up happening is that this leads to a deep dissatisfaction in life, maybe even depression. One of my other favorite teachers, Marriane Williamson says it all: "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us." Working with an experience therapist or life coach can be helpful if you feel stuck and don't know where to start.
It is important to schedule some time for yourself to reflect on your life and just observe your thoughts. Learn to distinguish the taughts of the "gremlin" , the voice of the Ego, who keeps telling you that you are not worth it, that you don't deserve better and listen to that quiet voice of inner wisdom Answers are within you. Stop looking to other people for answers. They are strugggling just like you. Instead, be yourself, express yourself. It does not matter if you make mistakes, you will learn from them. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and support you (and let go off the negative ones who constantly complain about their lives but don't do anything about it.) You can create the life that you always wanted as long as you remain true to yourself.